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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Mother's Guilt - Follow Up

I want to take a moment and personally thank you all for the kind words of support and encouragement yesterday. I was amazed by how engaged you all are your stories, words, and honest thoughts of me as a mom blew me away. I can’t believe this space I collect my thoughts in, is transforming in to communal place right before my eyes...LOVE it.

On another note, Baby O is doing much better. She’s apparently fighting an awful cold that is affecting her breathing. The doctors currently have her undergoing breathing treatments a couple times a day to help control the coughing and wheezing. So we are expecting her to be back to her normal self in a matter of days thankfully :).

To follow up on the guilt I experienced...

Sharing my guilt wasn't an easy thing however, I felt it was necessary. My purpose for posting "Mother's Guilt" was to make people feel uncomfortable and get in touch with their feelings. Often times we experience certain emotions and suffer in silence in order to keep up a certain fa├žade for others around us. I say it's ok to express your emotions...Go ahead and second guess your decision, have a little guilt, or even be a little angry with yourself. It’s not ok to sit around internalizing, and holding it in. No one is perfect, and believe it or not there are a million others sharing in your experience. For the five thousand triumphed moments we have as moms there always one or two moments that simply makes you feel inadequate. 



This is why I want to write about what’s REAL...good, bad, or indifferent. I want to hear and share your real stories to help others going through similar experiences. I want every mom to know just because they have mother's guilt doesn't make them less than a GREAT mom. If anything it makes them an AWESOME one for having it. Heck, I wrote this piece while deeply rooted in my feelings Monday night to give you my raw and true emotions. Yet I know I’m a great mom. I focused on what's real with me to help others better understand what we are going through.


With that being said, please note that at times this space will get REAL, as it pertains to my life experiences (and any readers willing to share theirs). Not because I’m spending time dwelling and judge myself. It’s honestly because my goal is to uplift and inspire everyone reading to be better moms. 

Fellow heartbeats....
Are you willing to share some of your mom experiences? What are some things you wish you had known prior to becoming a mom?

10 comments:

  1. Great post! Sometimes you have to lay the framework! I would be willing to share mom experiences... I wish someone told me about: the first few days with a kid, then week 3 (when the high goes away and you're just tired). I wish someone would've told me there's a "normal" standard for babies' progression and then what really happens (what the HECK do you do with a teething 2 month old? Nothing. you just look crazy saying your 8 wk old is teething). I wish someone would've talked about MOTHER'S GUILT! Love the blog and you and MyHoney.

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    1. Yes!!! Sometimes I write things forgetting I didn't properly explain my thoughts behind them. Looking back I totally wish I had known about some of the Mother's Guilt and other Real mom moments before being forced to face them.

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  2. The Mother's Guilt post was real. I discuss this often with my mom friends. Its important to discuss and share your feelings. Our somewhat irrational (mostly fatigued) minds often have us feeling alone and as though we are the only mother to experience such. Sometimes you just need to hear someone say its normal, take a deep breath, get a nap and move on. I stumbled upon your blog while following another blog and I am enjoying reading your REAL journey. I CAN RELATE!

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    1. Erika thanks so much and welcome to my blog. I'm always excited to have new followers reading and sharing this journey with me :).
      You are so right about irrational thoughts lol.

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  3. OMG! Reading Tabitha's comment just made me feel so much better. I started dealing with teething at 10 weeks and even my mom thought I was tripping. Until my daughter tried gnawing at her arm one day.

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    1. Dee you should feel better. Olivia was ahead of the game on development and had me catching hella side eye action, trying to explain her growth to people lol. Initially everyone thought I was some overzealous mom who thought I conceived a baby genus, until they would see her actions for themselves. As your baby continues to grow you WILL experience that side eye treatment lol. Just trust in your mom instincts because no one knows your baby better than you.

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    2. Nice post. I know you can't help it, but don't feel bad about enjoying your birthday and Olivia Madison Halle Berry Brown (LOL - That was for Domo) getting sick. You can't plan that. That just happens. Kids immune systems aren't as strong as ours (some of us have weak systems). So it will happen. But its good that you got guilt. Have these chicken heads go out every weekend not given 2 squats about they kids they leaving with grandma.... You're doing a great job. Hope the guilt has left because you're doing a great job........ Sidenote, can we not address moms all the time because I read and enjoy your blogs. But if this is dedicated towards women, I'll just follow Dom and his ratchetness. LOL! You guys are awesome.

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    3. Absolutely Marcus. I will definitely think of some more related topics :)

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  4. I can definitely relate to the mom guilt. I felt guilty when maternity leave was over and I had to take Aliyah to daycare. I felt as if I was abandoning her. I felt guilty when I could no longer produce enough milk for her. That REALLY beat me up. I cried and cried. Thank goodness for my mom for her encouragement and support. She reassured me that it was okay. I currently feel guilty because I am in grad school and homework takes up a large part of my time so we don't get to do as many things as we used to. When she says "mommy I want you." It pulls at my heart strings. Then I know I have to take a break to hold and kiss my baby girl.

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    1. Edwinna,
      I can totally see how that will pull at your heart strings. She's too young to know that what you’re doing today is only for a brighter future tomorrow for her.

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