Thursday, April 17, 2014


So I recently had a conversation with a few male co-peeps about how men feel after the baby comes. I must admit our chat was blatantly honest yet hysterical at the same darn time.  I gained ton of perspective from one of them and requested he write his thoughts out to share with you all.

Read his testimony is below...


My wife recently gave birth to our second child.  As a parent, there are few things more memorable then when your child enters this world.  It was without a doubt one of the best days of my life.  Not just because I had another son, but because today marks the road to recovery for my wife.  From the guy’s perspective, the road to recovery means one thing…sexy time is back! :)

Women….mothers….we men understand what a toll the last 40 weeks and delivery has taken on your body.  We know that you do not feel at your prettiest; that you don’t find your bodies “sexy” a t this point in time.  Please keep in mind that most of you (if not all) shut the pearly gates for weeks (if not months) before your little bundle of joy arrived.  In addition, your hormones over the past few months have been off the charts, with dear ol’ dad taking the brunt of that punishment. 

You (ladies) may think that this entitles you to a free pass, allowing you to physically and emotionally heal.  I can tell you that it DOES NOT!  You have a marital responsibility….a marital duty, to take care of your man! Have you ever heard the expression “taking one for the team”? That is what you need to do until your mind and body have returned to its usual self.  Love making may be prohibited by the doctor for a while, but servicing your man is not….yes, I said it….step up your game and rock the “Mike” like you were BeyoncĂ©!!!

Most women respond to this notion with “what’s in it for me?” or “why would I do that when you cannot reciprocate?”

Ladies ladies…you made it very clear that the past 40 weeks were all about you.  The baby shower was all about you.  Decorating the baby’s room was all about you.  Being dragged to every Carter’s, Buy Buy Baby or trendy baby boutique, was all about you.  Now, it’s about US! You know, the reason you were able to have a baby in the first place…..this pregnancy was long and hard on us as well; just in a different fashion.

So while you may not be in best place physically or emotionally, just remember that a little goes a long way in our book. 

Let me preface this by saying I have never been and would never be a cheater.  In the end, there is too much to lose and nothing to gain.  However, history does show that if you ignore or deny your man too often, he will stray and find someone who will take care of his needs.  Don’t let that happen to you.  You and your man have a wonderful thing going. Evidence of this is the recent birth of your child and your growing family. 
Men are simple creatures; we don’t need or ask for much.  Isn’t fifteen minutes of your time worth it to ensure a healthy relationship? :)

Lesson to be learned?
Handle your business ladies and take care of your man!

Dear ol’ Dad

Fellow HeartBEATS
Now! The other funny part abput this is I also work with his wife. She was on maternity leave during the time the converstion took place, but we shared a good laugh about this upon her return.

Any way can any of you relate? I sure can and know like hell I felt/used every excuse that his wife did right after having Baby O. Hell I was drained, feeling like someone else, and focused on being a mom, but as my co –peep so eloquently puts it...None of that had to do with the hubs lol. So at some point it was time to shut up and put up, because although a new responsibility had been added to my plate I still have a previous one to take care of.


  1. Although bluntly put I respect his stance and agree l

    1. Mia I completely agree as well. Learned the hard way but I bet I won't make the mistake twice lol

  2. You know what I liked about this blog. First of all let me say that part about Roc'in the Mic was funny.... But you know what I really like about what he said, he said that people have the impression that men don't go through anything during pregnancy. Its true, we get dragged around to this store. We putting cribs together, and doing paintin g, and all that stuff (be honest ladies, you're not doing this stuff), the baby shower is all about you and the baby, just like the wedding is your day (you may have a good woman who wants to include you, but everyone around you is saying its her day), at the delivery room, I tried to get a cup of water and the nurse lady told me that they only tend to those who have a vagina (the mother) and those who came out of one (the baby) and MOST IMPORTANTLY, we don't get to get off (unless we do dip out on you-not me, but some do). So yeah ladies, don't just look at the roc the mic part. Look past what he said, he is saying so much more. #SALUTE Unknown Brother!

    1. Marcus I knew you would enjoy this one and I could count on you to add extra perspective. What you fellas should know is our actions aren’t done maliciously. The welcoming of a child can be very overwhelming so charge it to the head and not the heart :)

  3. Very well put post... While I'm sure it holds true to some situations... I was turning TRICKS all throughout my pregnancy... I never had weight on me (boobs, that is) until I got knocked-up so that was fun, lol. My perspective? You're a mom from the first day you conceive (watching what you eat, absorbing information about babies, preparing your body home and life for baby and so much more)... What most moms don't do is be REAL publicly to admit that DADS aren't DADS until baby is here. Dads don't truly GET it until they hold their first born for the FIRST time... Then it becomes real... shoot, I've been holding baby for 40 weeks... on my bladder, thankyaverymuch. Moms aren't REAL and admit, despite having great men, moms are the primary caregiver throughout their child's life; they don't share that with moms-to-be... so, you just kinda get pregnant and are gut-punched with the difference in parental roles. At a young age, you learn your child is a reflection of the MOTHER. If they look a mess, behave badly, are spoiled, etc., the first question? "where's their MAMA?" No one talks about how alone the first pregnancy can feel at times... How you feel pressured to put on a happy face most days despite dealing with an expanding waistline, a fear of stretch marks, the terror of bouncing back, the unknowns of childbirth... How most often, Daddy goes along but could care less about the nursery, the shower, the shopping, etc. How you have thoughts of choking him when he's all publicly SO EXCITED to meet baby when you KNOW he was just acting like a baby himself... It was after baby arrived that I realized while I cater to this new life and work to rediscover my own life, I have to remember to cater to him too. O yea, him... LOL! Good points in the post :) Dads, catering is a whole lot easier when you're understanding and not demanding... when you communicate early on and don't wait until it's festered.. when Moms have daddy-sponsored time for breaks too :) So glad we're at a point where my hubby gets the need for daddy-daughter time but KEEPING it real he didn't understand during my first pregnancy nor did he during most of her early days...

    1. Valid points Tabby. It truly all comes down to balance and a little comprise from both parties otherwise someone will always feel slighted.

  4. BWAHAHAHA!!! I literally just hollered at my desk and chocked at the same d@mn time!!! Dear ol’ Dad has a point though….

  5. DOD if this is a sneaky way to ask your wife for a BJ, then kudos to you if it pans out. Wife, put a couple fingers in the rear, that will save your jaw a couple valuable minutes. Why are we talking about BJs, When that isn't even considered cheating anymore. This is 2014! I've seen a guy help out his friend in cab once and they were both straight. Also, the last time I check that baby doesn't come out the butthole, so just put it in there. Lastly, try giving him his iPad, tell him he can watch whatever he wants, and give him an old fashion (HJ). Don't ruin this with kissing. Just a few tips to consider while venturing thru this joyous part of life.