Looking Forward To Mondays

Over the last two weeks I’ve seen some really great mom post so I wanted to share them here with you all...

Running On Empty

Ok now let’s dissect these two mom voices.

When you watched the video or read the article what’s your first reaction as a mom? 

When in mommy mode do you take time for yourself? Would you put your own oxygen mask on first?

I can tell you now my first thought is my child so in my mind I always figured that I’d disregard the flight attendants advice and put my baby mask on first. Right, wrong, or indifferent I’d rather sacrifice myself first, and when I said this to myself I thought...if you are not whole how will you  take care of her Sheena. This thought then lead into many other thoughts and internal back and forth with me lol.  However, seeing/reading these mom perspectives let me know its ok to take care of me sometimes and made me think about the ways I choose to take of me. 

The biggest thought that came to mind for me was I take care of me by looking forward to Monday’s lol.  You can judge if you want to. However, believe me when I say this, there is no greater love for me than the one I have for my daughter, she gives me so much joy, she is the light of my life, and I just love her life. She’s by far my greatest accomplishment but after a weekend of busy little Liv, Monday’s are just what the doctor ordered. I get to recuperate and recharge my batteries for another week of toddler goodness with my External Heartbeat. 

Post-Partum Shedding

Hey Luvs!

I know some of you are probably wondering why in the world I am talking about this now. Truth is I received a couple friendly reminders of it over the past few months so I figured now is better than never. Over the last year of Liv's life I've been rocking protective styles in my hair because I honestly can't deal with how much my hair sheds otherwise. My hair sheds by the hand full and typically pulls my natural locks from the roots on down... It's horrible.

Just horrible and  until a few recent conversations with a couple of my favorite veteran moms who are also team natural I had no solution, other than living in denial by rocking a protective style lol. Any who my mommy boo's came to the rescue with their advice to "start back taking your prenatal Vitamins". I had stop taken mine for a while because I was having a few health concerns (nothing serious...just would get super nauseous when I took them, so I needed to find out why this was happening after having my little lovebug. Although, I haven't quite got to the bottom of the nausea, this week I reintroduced prenatal vitamins to my diet so you can be sure to look for an update on my shedding issues in the next few months.

On another note before heading out for vacation I received a Instagram request wanting to catch the tea on my latest protective style so hunty here it is :-). For my birthday I decided I wanted a bob sew-in but since my hair is natural I needed the full Monte Carlo. With my shedding issues I can't afford to let any and everybody play in my natural hair. Any who I brought some weave, and drove up to Maryland and got my hair laid.

Side Note: Please don't ask why I had to go all the way to Maryland, that's a post for another day. However, I will say these Northern VA stylist be acting up and they clients be letting 'em...Thank God I'm natural.

Well my birthday sew-in made me fall in love so I decided to try wearing sew-ins for a few more months. I just wasn't about that sit in a care for 3 hours life for a hair style that only took an hour. Since, I don’t have a permanent stylist I reached out to my boo Denise who always come through with my natural updo's and is very creative. Told her what I was trying to do and she suggested I just buy a lace wig. The plan was to buy the wig and she'd sew it on for me. That way I could keep it for a good amount of time, plus she could help maintain my natural hair in between tighten up my wig... SCORE.

The concept was awesome, creative and works wonderfully.  However, the quality of wig I purchased was nowhere near what the sale associate promised so it didn’t last long. a

Fellow HeartBEATS

Have any of you experiences post-partum shedding? If so what tips can you share for coping with it?

Vacation Nerves

Happy Friday Luvs!

I’ve hinted that I’m going on vacation but the fact of the matter is the hubby and I are headed on vacation...just the two of us without our sweet Liv. Like headed to an adult only resort where she isn't even invited if I wanted her to come :-(

We're heading out of the country for the first time since we found out we were expecting and my nervous are shot.  Although, I’m leaving my external heartbeat in the care of my trusted cousin Meka and huge local and extended support system it hasn’t stopped my mom-xiety (sure did just make up my own wordJ). Since my Motther’s guilt post we haven’t spent more than a night away from one another and that night she was still with her dad. So, leaving her for the first time has had made me nervous about so many things like...

• How are we going to cope without each other (I’m sure she’ll do much better than me?)
• Will Meka be able to handle all of Liv’s energy for the two days she doesn’t have daycare?
• Did I brief Meka on everything she needs to know about caring for my external heartbeat?
• Did I leave enough cash for incidentals?
• Does daycare have enough milk and diaper to get through the week?
• How will I communicate with my baby each day?

I know these things seem small and she’s in good hands, but the short of it is I’m going to miss my baby like crazy.

I’ve been planning for this much needed vacation for some time now (so I thought anyway). Then this week came storming in and there wasn’t quite enough hours in the day to get everything done at work, for my house, for my Liv, and lastly for myself.  And to top it all off my veteran mom Mrs. Tabby hit me with the unthinkable by letting me know now that I’m a parent there’s are few documents may want to have in place in the event of an emergency.  To which my response was...

• Emergency?
• Huh?
• What’s that because in my world those just don’t happen?
• I can’t see it. Don’t want to hear it. And you better believe I am not thinking about it. But, go ahead and send me a copy of the documents and I’ll take a look at them.

Just the thought of a hypothetical emergency left me on the other end of the phone hyperventilating but, the truth is she’s exactly right. And you better believe that I’ll be at my bank getting everything notorized this afternoon. However, it’s another friendly reminder that the day my external heartbeat came into my world it changed forever.  The care free do whatever, whenever mentality I used to have no longer exist, and my world revolves around her...I wouldn’t have it any other way though.

On another note these little unthinkable documents Tabby mentioned are the last item on my to do list so I hope that once it’s complete I can relinquish myself from my mom-xiety and enjoy a little fun in the sun. See you all in about a week J

Finding A New School

No wordless Wednesday for me today.  Instead I want to take a moment to properly address the thought provoking comment/question I received in response to yesterday’s post which you can read here.

The short of it is I was venting about my potty training frustrations as it pertains to Liv’s current school, and someone anonymously commented with the following...

“If you are so unhappy why don't you just leave now. No hate here, but it seems like you have been unhappy for awhile...”

This made me realize that I haven’t done what I set out to do with this blog. Which is to be 100% open and honest about matters of my external heartbeat. As anonymous stated I’ve been very open about my discontent with Liv’s existing school for some time. And, though I’ve insinuated that a change in schools is coming I haven’t quite shared the details. The crazy part about it is I feel like I did since all our family and friends have the inside scoop, and are looking forward to September 2^nd when she starts her new school.

Now! Before I proceed I’d like to apologize for taking you all for granted. By not sharing the details of the new school search. Anonymous made me realize that as much as I complain about Liv’s existing school, sharing the details of her new school is a post that’s long overdue.  So anonymous whoever you are thanks so much for the comment.

Now, without further ado here’s the long answer to the comment above.

It was sometime around April when I truly came to my breaking point with Liv’s current school. I can’t remember the exact straw that broke the camel’s back (it honestly may have been the whole potty or fundraiser thing) but, I knew it was time to leave. And if both my husband and I didn’t work full time or had family in our area willing to care for her, I would have snatched her out immediately. No ifs, ands, or butts about it, as mad as I was I would have made what I’d now consider to be a selfish decision and left the school without notice. Yes! I said selfish because in my opinion acting solely on my discontent (which in the moment I would have been), and not thinking about the best quality of care for her would have been selfish. In any case, I didn’t take her out immediately because our family dynamics didn’t support such a decision.

Instead after a year of her being in her current school, and receiving what I’d consider to be excellent care as an infant. I found myself back at the drawing board and in search of a new school once she became a toddler. Honestly, although I was starting to have my share of issues with the administration, my husband and I were also noticing how she had simply out grown their level of care. What worked for her as an infant just wasn’t going to work for her as a toddler. So, in early April I begin diligently looking for new schools in my area. By now you all know enough of my personality to know I don’t make decisions like this lightly, and I’m not about uprooting my child to leave her in the care of just anyone. I attended multiple open houses, randomly popped up at several schools, spent countless hours reading reviews, talking to administrators, and other parents of my top choice schools. Before we decided that this time around we’d give Montessori a try. Outside of the very docile environment that I’m hoping my little rambunctious diva will fit into we just loved the school philosophy. I loved the responsiveness and communication with the director and teachers. I also lved how even their so called “play” activities have a purpose behind them.

However, our decision to try Montessori came with a pretty steep contractual obligation. That further delayed us moving her out of the current school. The Montessori school we choose only accepts 10 or 12 month contracts which can only start in June or September and on top of that they are only accredited to take students as young as 18 months old. This is why our start date is September and wasn’t sooner. Through my search I found that even if I moved her somewhere else temporarily the quality of care would be equal or less than the care she is receiving today. So the hubs and I decided we’ll let her finish out the summer around her tiny friends and continue to deal with the environment that we know until her first day at the new school. Exactly, two weeks ago I gave her current school a little over 30 days’ notice that she will not be returning in the fall. And, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the last few months of dealing with their shenanigans have been a serious struggle but, I’ve learned to keep calm and look forward to brighter days.

I’m pretty sure the new school won’t solve all my problems but, this mom is totally looking forward to a new set of experiences J

Oh The Judgment!

This morning I woke up to an article posted on FB by my co peep Jessica that totally reminded me of a conversation that a few other co peeps and I had last week. Where I informed my co peeps that I had to refrain from cussing a women out in a restaurant for a comment she made regarding my parenting style.

Long story short...

The hubs, Baby O, and I were at brunch one Saturday and because Baby O is so active and hates just sitting waiting on the food, we brought a few things to entertain her (One of which was an ipad for her to click through abcmouse.com or watch videos on youtube). We were at the table chatting, playing with the ipad, and signing songs when a large party was seated across from us. The group seemed to be enjoying themselves and begin to get really loud. So Baby O turned to join in on their fun, she begin to try engage in their conversation and they all chatting back. Except one woman (she had two older kids) who kept staring at Dom and I. I’d notice her watching our table beforehand but didn’t pay much attention. However, she abruptly received my attention when we made eye contact and she made the comment “Sorry she’s not entertained by the TV any longer, looks like she wants some real conversation sorry.”

Hold the MFing phone!

Is this chick judging me?

Bye, Felicia!

ITCH I did this as a curtsey to you, and the other restaurant patrons. I’m 100% cool with letting her loose to tear this place up but, I figured you’re a** wouldn’t like that. So I brought her some entertainment.

NOW! Go have several seats in the back of a stadium by your darn self until you remember how your kids used to act at 14 months.

Oh sorry guys.

YIKES!!! Anyway before I have a darn flash back here’s the article she posted... IT AIN’T EASY HAVING ONE OF “THOSE” KIDS. 

The title caught my attention and after reading it I immediately knew I had to share it with you all.  You see before having a kid of my own I can admit that I was a silent judger. Not that I wanted or meant to judge others it would kind of just happen. Mostly because I didn’t understand, all I would see is the child’s behavior and the parent seeming to not be bothered by it. Now that I have a child of my own I know differently. And as I told my co peeps who I discussed this with last week... I apologize to every parent before me who I secret or openly judge in my ignorance.

To future parents, parents of older children, people who don’t want to be parents, or parents who kids aren’t quite toddlers yet please believe me when I say the trials and tribulations of apparent are REAL. And every kids is different so no one will ever be able to explain it, it’s honestly one of those things you just have to experience. With that being said, next time you think to judge.

The Shoes Are In...(Bowed Leg Problems)

On Friday I finally got the call saying that Baby O’s special shoes were in from my Bowed Leg Problem (update) post . Truth be told just getting this call caused me anxiety. 

Yes, we had already gone through what seemed to be the hard part by visiting the two orthopedic specialists and getting a diagnosis for her condition“internal tibial torsion”.

Yes, it’s true that since the visit with the last specialist I had a few comforting conversations with my in laws and, gained a lot more insight on what was going on...

Turns out this little condition is genetic and, the hubs totally had a very severe case of it as a child. Thank goodness for my mother in law memory because she was totally able to school me on it and let me know what to expect. So, I truly felt better about the situation prior to receiving the phone call.   

However, the mom in me wasn’t ready for what these special shoes meant for my baby. I wasn’t ready to see how she’d handle this so called noninvasive nightly cure. I wasn’t ready to see how she’d react to being confined to the shoes at night or, see how her sleeping habits would be affected over the next few months as a result of wearing them. Boy was I nervous about it but, had to put my fears aside. I reluctantly scheduled her appointment for the first available which was yesterday morning. Unfortunately I couldn’t make the appointment (Mother’s Guilt moment) so Dom had to take her. He gave me a call immediately after the visit to inform me that all went well and, let me know the doctor was pleasantly surprised by how she did...I was relieved.

Here's what they look like...

Last night was day one of our 4 month treatment and much to my surprise it very well. Our routine went as follow;

• I placed her “sleepy time shoes” (my little nickname for them) on her feet
• Explained to her what they were
• Allowed her to play with them for a bit

• Read her a bedtime story
• And, Put her down for the night

She spent some time in her crib playing around with them a bit more then fell out until this morning. Dom and I were extremely worried that she’s wake up having a fit because she wouldn’t be able to stand in them. But to our surprise she actually did an AWESOME job this morning and we were super PROUD of her :).

This Morning...

Potty Training: Regression

Hey luvs!

This week I’m playing catch up. I feel like I’ve been saying I’ll update you all soon and just never do so this is the week to catch up and I’m starting with Potty Training. Since, my original potty training post I’ve gotten a ton of inquiries about how things are going so as promised here’s the skinny on Baby O’s potty time progress.

Things were going excellent, we were spending our evenings and weekends having potty time. To be clear she wasn’t drag me too the potty or anything thing but, we had a little routine going where I’d sit her on the potty soon as we got home, after dinner, and again before bed (one the weekends we did every two hours) and she was accident free. We were getting somewhere and I even discovered that she was grasping the concept...

To be clear, by no means do her understanding equal actually using the potty on her own.  NOT AT ALL. It actually turned out that while she did indeed where she should go potty it didn’t prevent her from experiencing regression... She had begun to go potty in her diaper and then walk over to the potty and take a seat or, use go in her  diaper immediately after getting up from the potty. And for the life of me I couldn’t figure out where in the world this little set back was coming from.  Originally I thought maybe I was too ambitious with my potty introduction and she wasn’t ready. Until I did my research and discovered my poor baby was probably just confused.

Since, I hadn’t engaged the school in our potty time adventures we were totally sending my lovebug mixed signals.  I was at home telling her it isn’t ok to go potty in her diaper while, they were telling her the complete opposite for 8 hours of the day...YIKES. I had to get school involved because the only way this would work was if everyone was on the same page. Being that she was in a toddler room which had a restroom in it I didn’t foresee a problem.  I set up meeting with her teacher and director to discuss Baby O getting potty time throughout the day which seemed to go well.  We set a date to start and I spent the entire weekend before hand trying to get Baby O back on track.  I was serious like looked up YouTube videos, read books, brought supplies, and picked my baby up early so we could get started SERIOUS.

The Musical timer we set for every 30 minutes

Since Baby O is into baby dolls I got her a Baby Alive to demonstrate how potty time works

The rewards board

The Packet I put together for the teacher to reward her during potty time

Cute little seat

Big Girl Panties

Only to find out that the school wasn’t hence my comment “So you won’t potty train her until she’s 2?” in the THAT MOM post. Y’all they played me, turns out they were against my plan to potty train early and had given Baby O’s teacher very specific instructions that made the effort a true waste of time and when I finally discovered what was going on I was pissed. Yet, I decided to have a follow on conversation with the director which enlightened me on the schools true opinion...

The school doesn’t begin potty training until children enter the 2 year old classroom. They didn’t want to force a 13 month old to sit on the potty so, they were only willing to get her used to the idea by sitting her on the potty every two hours if the teacher wasn’t the only adult in the classroom at the time.

In my follow up conversations with the teacher Baby O was enjoying her potty breaks but most times had already gone potty in the diaper prior to getting sat on the potty. This meant we were right back where we started and the only responsible thing for me to do was call operation potty time quits. I can’t risk any further confusion on this situation for Baby O it’s just not fair to her. And, although I know she’s ready even more so now then she was three months ago I have to hold off until she’s in environment that fosters growth and development on an individual level instead of a place that focuses on a GROUP THINK philosophy.

Nina's Battle Against Infertility Part II

The Solution. So We Thought!

We had our first office visit with my OB/GYN doctor in 2006. I first had to undergo a procedure called a hysterosalpinogram (HSG) which is an x-ray test that uses a contrast material to check for injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes. This test was normal. My husband had to provide a sperm sample for Semen Analysis. His counts were not the greatest, but they were not horrible. So we tried the medication Clomid alone, then along with intrauterine insemination (IUI) for 6 cycles with no luck. I eventually had a procedure called a Pelviscopy done a few years later to check and make sure that I did not have any adhesions or abnormalities that could not be picked up by ultrasound alone. It is a laparoscopic procedure where a long thin scope was placed through small incisions on my abdomen and my belly button. This was normal as well. After all of this we were referred to a specialist at a Fertility Clinic. So we continued on with new medications and IUIs, then injectable medications and IUIs. They were all unsuccessful. 

So, here we were now in the year 2012 and the next step in our journey would lead us to In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Our insurance did not cover the cost of IVF so we now faced a major decision. One cycle of IVF would cost us around $7000. That was not including the cost of the medications required during one cycle which can be around another $2500. So we decided to postpone our dream of becoming parents until after we relocated from Rochester, NY to Charlotte, NC and were settled. Through the grace of God I found a job through an organization that would cover my IVF treatments after working there a year. I would still have to pay a copay for the procedure and for my medications, which was nothing compared to what I could have paid. In October 2013 we started our IVF process after completing blood work, genetic testing, and a semen analysis for my husband. Now the true test of my strength would begin. There are five basic steps in the IVF and embryo transfer process which include: 

• Monitoring and stimulating the development of healthy egg(s) in the ovaries, collecting the eggs
• Securing sperm
• Combining the egg(s) and sperm together in the laboratory and providing the appropriate environment for fertilization and early embryo growth
• And lastly transferring the embryo(s) into the uterus. 

I created calendars to write down all of the medications I had to take, injections I had to give myself (some nights included three injections into my abdomen). I wrote down all of the appointments for blood work and ultrasounds in order to check my progress. I was very diligent, always on time, afraid to make a mistake. Taking injections with me to dinner at restaurants and injecting them into my abdomen in the bathroom so I gave it at the correct time. I had several alarms programmed on my phone to help me remember what time I had to give or take each medication. On my birthday, December 3, 2013 I celebrated my birthday under anesthesia. My eggs were now ready for retrieval through a minor surgical procedure that uses ultrasound imaging to guide a hollow needle through my pelvic cavity. My eggs were aspirated from my ovaries. They now had 11 eggs from my ovaries. After my eggs and my husband’s sperm were combined we had 8 good embryos left. I returned on December 8th for my embryo transfer. The process involves a speculum which is inserted into the vagina to expose the cervix. With my embryo suspended in fluid and guided by ultrasound it was gently placed through a catheter into my womb. My doctor only transferred one embryo and we planned on freezing the rest for later procedures when we were ready to try again. That day we received our first baby picture. A picture of our little embryo that was ready to be transferred. We also learned that we only had one remaining embryo that was ready to be frozen. The next phase of the cycle can actually be the most stressful time when you are trying to relax. It is known as the two week wait. 

Our wait was finally over on December 17th when my husband and I listened together to a voicemail from our IVF nurse. We were pregnant, for the first time in almost 9 years of trying. We were elated. Excited I told all of my close friends, my mom, my sister, and my co-workers who knew every step of the process as I was going through it. On December 19th I had to go back in for follow-up blood work to make sure that my hormone levels were doubling. To my surprise, when I received the voicemail from the IVF nurse about the results they were not what I had expected. I did not prepare myself for this. I was crushed. Our levels had dropped and it was considered a chemical pregnancy. Now I had to tell my husband and I was at work so my co-workers found out and just about my entire office was in tears. That was a really hard and trying day. I felt like I was going to die because the pain was so severe. My heart literally hurt. 


Thanks for reading and don't forget to come back tomorrow to find out what's next for Nina and her hubby

Battle Of Wheels

I'm sure from this title you thought this article would be about Olivia and her little hot wheels. Ummmm it's not, but check this photo the hubs got of her in her ride couple of Sundays ago.

Now, the main purpose of today’s blog, in my house there is a real battle of WILLs going down.

I’ve finally realized that Baby O is whole heartedly a toddler and has really be trying my patience. Yeah we have some... She tried it (in my Tamara voice) moments.  The crazy part is I didn't realize that’s what she was doing until I was chatting with my friend Amber, about some of my recent dinner time experiences with Baby O. Over the past couple weeks the shenanigans at dinner time have simply been getting out of control. Of course, I blamed teething (because I blame everything on teething lol) but in reality she was pulling these stunts, because she knew she could. Talking to Amber helped me realize what was going on though.

But, I honestly wasn’t 100% convinced that she was playing me until I arrived at her school that same day. When I arrived to pick her up from school her teacher informed me that Baby O is learning to self sooth in the classroom. Of course, I inquired to see what self-soothing technique they were using, turns out when my tiny tot gets upset they walk her over to a little plush chair, explain to her that all is well, she has her moment and comes out when she’s ready to play again.

So my child gets the concept of time out? Really?

You better believe I left the school in total shock. Home girl listens to everyone but me lol (it's not funny but it is)...

For the first time in a long time I was the soft one. Totally thought I left that ish back in my childhood with my rough a** brothers. Guess I was wrong because home girl be punking me y'all. That night at dinner I put some base in my voice when speaking to her, how about home girl ate her entire dinner...oh it's ON. Bet I won't be around here letting a tiny tot get over on me anymore. It's her will against mine, and she may have won a few battles, but I promise I'll win this war.

After all it's simply a matter of respect. Which is not optional in our house.

Fellow HeartBEATS

I'll keep you all posted on our little war but for now is like to know when you first discovered the Battle of Wills in your home?

Momma Drama: Mystery Scratches

Hey luvs!

I want to take a moment circle back on Monday’s article about being THAT Mom. Although I’m shamelessly proud of the title I still would like to go into further detail regarding the bullets I posted. Not for validation, simply because the stories behind them are important. Starting today I will be doing a series called (Momma Drama) which goes into further details regarding each of these incidents and future ones like it.This honestly should be good because as my co-peeps put it I have the most bizarre conversations lol.

Oh so no one knows where this scratch on my infant came from?

This was the start of my THAT Mom life with Baby O’s school so it’s the most fitting place to start.  One day I went to pick my lovebug up (she had to be about 7 months) and as I was gathering her things I glanced over and noticed a scratch on her neck. This was no little scratch. It actually looked more like someone had been digging into her skin, and I could tell it hurt and from the dried blood. Of course, I immediately stopped what I was doing to get closer look at it. After my inspection I ask the teacher what happened to which she informed me that this was her first time seeing it.

SAY WHAT? 

                                              

Apparently, Baby O had been shuttled from class to class that day so her primary teacher was just seeing her. I was too alarmed by the change in classrooms as it this happened a lot on the school infant unit. I was surprised that I visited every infant class and NO ONE knew where the mark on my baby had come from.

WHAT THE F*&%?

Internally PISSED yet visibly calm, I proceed to pack up the rest of Baby O’s belongings, picked her up, and marched down to the director’s office. When I got to her office I politely requested a moment of her and time during which I pointed out the marks on Baby O, and let her know that while I understand that accidents will happen while my child is in their care I was very disturbed. As I had spoken to her staff and none of the infant teachers knew where the marks came from. She informed me that they the team keeps a very close eye on the children, and couldn’t believe that no one on her staff had seen this if it happened on their watch.

To which I responded with the following...

It has become a daily tradition in our household that my husband and Baby O take a morning photo so something like this would have been noticed prior to her arrival had it happen at home. Not to mention I watch her like a HAWK at home, since she is my only I actually don’t have anything else better to do. Not to mention I bath her nightly and I can promise this was not there. This means it happened in your care, so now that we know where this happened let me tell you my issue once again. My issue is that NO ONE on your staff seen this and I had to walk in a place of “care” to discover a mark on my child. My issue is that I was not identified of this issue prior to arriving at your facility. That shows negligence on the schools behalf in my opinion. I don’t ever want to walk in this facility in find a mark on my child that you all aren’t aware of...Like NEVER. I pay you all to educate and protect my child while she is here and that is not something you feel your staff is capable of please let me know immediately.

I could tell that my polite yet firm ton surprised the ish out of her because every day prior my demeanor mirrored that of a ball of sunshine lol.  I left our little meeting with feeling accomplished as I believed my point had gotten across and knowing I’d be receiving a follow up call the next day with further clarification of what may have happened. Since, a few teachers had already left for the day I knew she needed to contact them and I thought it was only fair to allow her to do so. Especially, since the bullshit story she initially tried to feed me of this being self-inflicted wasn’t flying past me lol.

In any case I received a call bright and early the next morning to which the truth was revealed, because Baby O led them to it.  Apparently, little miss independent had been snatching her own bibs off her neck and no one cared until...Momma found them scratches.

Fellow HeartBEATS

Do you remember the first time you had to SPEAK UP in the name of your child? If so please share :)

THAT MOM

During a few recent conversations with my co-peeps (coworkers) I discovered that I’m THAT MOM at Baby O’s daycare. You know the mom that everyone tip toes around, The one they have secret conversations about but smiles when they see her. Let's not talk about how they hate to have to call with a problem, but will call for every single thing...

Hi Sheena I’m just calling to tell you that Baby O coughed and although she’s fine I just wanted to inform you.  Yup that’s me and I shamelessly OWN it LOL

I know at this point some of you are probably thinking  I’m only acting in this manner because I’m first time mom and please feel free to think that way, but I’m here to tell you that’s not the case. I wouldn’t care if I had 99 other children and knew everything in this world about raising children. I am very invested in my child’s (and future children) lives, so when things go down while mine is in your care I WILL always properly assess the situation. Need to know who, where, why, and plan going forward, to think about it that’s just how I am naturally (I want all the details so that I determine how I’ll handle things with the person in question going forward). Not to mention, when paying college tuition for my child to be in your care the expectations are HIGH and nothing less so be prepared to do what grown-ups do and communicate.

Needless to say I’ve had more than a few run-ins with Baby O’s school...

1. No one knows where thess scratch came from? (Mystery Scratches)
2. Did she really just say that? (The Teaching Experience)
3. So you won’t potty train her until she’s 2? (More details to come)
4. I referred two people but have yet to receive my referral bonus?
5. Excuse me did you just say my child got bit? Is this that first incident with this child biting?
6. My child isn’t being stimulated enough in her current classroom is it possible for her to move up early?
7. Based on my calculations your fundraising total is incorrect and we actually raised the most funds.

LOL those are the only ones I can think of at the moment, but were all reasons for me to start a conversation then head to the schools director based on the response I received. Since, I’m comfortable in my own skin (in my Beyonce voice) I’m perfectly fine with being that mom. Actually I’m PROUD to be that mom and advocate for mines J. What I didn’t realize is my hubby is THAT DAD as well. Y’all last week he went in on the administration at the school about the ingredients in some Honey Nut Cheerios LMBO. I'll spare you all the details but check out his response to their request that we not send Baby O to school with Honey Nut Cheerios...

Here is the exact label on the box. It was my understanding that pre-2006 Honey Nut cheerios contained actual ground almonds, but now it has a "natural almond flavor" which really isn't almonds at all. Maybe they changed the formula to save money.

However, in the sake of safety we will no longer bring honey nut cheerios to school.

"Honey Nut Cheerios is a variation of Cheerios breakfast cereal, introduced in 1979 by the General Mills cereal company. The second variation from the original Cheerios, it is sweeter than the original, with a honey and almond flavor. While this product used to be made with actual nuts, as of 2006, the nuts were discontinued, and natural flavor is used instead."

"What is, "natural almond flavor"?

Well according to Eric Schlosser's book Fast Food Nation it's benzaldehyde which in turn is generally derived from peach and apricot pits. 

Can't say I blame Cheerios on this one though. Do you think "Honey Benzaldehyde Cheerios" would sell? It just doesn't seem to have the same zing and really, what good are ethics when it comes to sales?"

I was too done yet proud that he too will stand his ground in honor of our lovebug.

Fellow HeartBEATS

Have you ever felt like THAT PARENT?

No Pictures Please

So yesterday was Baby O's picture day at school and for the first time since she's been there I declined on the option to have her photos taken :(. Which sucks because I look forward to these moments with my lovebug, not to mention I spent a whole week going back and forth with Dom on which of her cute little spring ensembles she'd wear, and laid it out on Sunday. 

Only for us to end our Sunday evening nursing her and the nice little shiner she gave herself. Yup! Baby O is walking around with a black eye after our family fun day in the back yard...It was such a beautiful day that we decided to go out back and get some fresh air. All was going well and she was having a blast, until she tripped while chasing our dog CoCo. Of course, I understand that being a tiny tot she have a lot of bumps and bruises while exploring along the way but I totally felt horrible and my Mother's Guilt came back in full force (hangs head in shame).

Any who, yesterday when I headed up to her school midday to take her to the doctors all of her little classmates looked so cute in their picture day attire. I was sad but enjoying my view until everyone I passed (all the teachers, directors, etc) mentioned how there was a ton of controversy that morning on whether or not Olivia was supposed to take her photos (I thought I had notified everyone she wasn’t but I guess not). When I told them no they laid it on SUPER thick and convinced me otherwise, vowing to hide her litter shiner, and allow her to have her photos taken today. Because, all the staff in the building looks forward to seeing Olivia on picture day lol.

I agreed to their terms because I just love when my kid is the highlight of others day like she is for mineJ. Especially since when I stopped by the infant room to see a friend’s daughter her little cute face and outfit just gave me LIFE.  Can’t wait to see how all the kids photos turn out. For now here’s a hair and outfit sneak peek...

Fit Friday: Mango Chutney Shrimp Salad

Hey Luvs!

As I mentioned during my rant on Tuesday I would like to incorporate some fitness post onto the site. And, last night’s dinner reminded me of that thought. This is why I just had to share this quick and delicious recipe with you amongst other things.

The Recipe (This is a little something my coworker and I created as I walked out of the office yesterday with a craving for shrimp.)

Ingredients 

• 2 bags of Bumble Bee Super Fresh Lemon Shrimp with Garlic & Herbs
• 1 jar of Stonewall Mango Chutney
• 1 bag of Fresh Spinach

Instructions

1. Prepare shrimp according to instructions on the bag

2. Reduce heat and slowly add the entire jar of Stonewall Mango Chutney.

3. Stir shrimp and chutney together. Be sure to mix the two very well.

4. Remove shrimp from stove and serve over fresh bed of spinach. 
Like this....

My Fitness Story

By no means am I the typical person most would want to receive weight loss advice from. I've spent my whole life as a skinny girl who always ate what I wanted whenever I wanted. A collegiate athlete that really didn’t take my fitness and nutrition serious because, my God given talent had my back. Let’s not even talk about how I dropped my baby weight like a bad habit, and for the most part look like I never had a child. All that being said, my fitness story is more about feeling fit rather than looking it. I totally get that from the outside looking in I'm fit. Truth be told I've actually struggled with my mom body, I'm literally not used to the skin I'm in. How do I tell people this as a skinny girl? I don’t. Because, when I do most people dismiss the thought saying things like; I don’t know what you are talking about you look great. Girl you’re tripping. Ummm I’m going to need you to get over it. Or they’d simply rather discuss how they wish they had my body. As flattering as that may be it doesn’t change how I feel or the fact that since I was always the skinny girl I’ve never really had to deal with body related issues.

While pregnant I decided that I truly wanted to enjoy the experience. This for me entailed a few things like eating what I wanted (I ate something sweet daily), not exercising, and enjoying as much rest and relaxation as I could. In turn I gained almost 50lbs (most people couldn't tell but my doctors and I knew it was there lol) not realizing the consequences of my actions. Naturally, I figured I could drop the weight with no problem. However, I had no clue that dropping the pounds didn't mean it wouldn’t stick to me in all the wrong places (mom pouch). I had no clue my skin wouldn’t just fall back into place and I’d develop a skin related smut (small gut), and because of it I'd look at the physcial me differently. This is when I quickly learned it wasn't just a weight thing it was also a self-confidence thing. I'd heard about all this but couldn't really relate until now....I TOTALLY GET IT. Now, I spend my days trying to find my athletic spirit within my mom body, and it's a daily struggle. Most of the time I'm too exhausted to work out, and would rather eat something unhealthy. But, I’ve decided it’s time to go all in on operation fit momma. I just really needed to get creative so that I can put my words into action. That's why I'm hoping that by posting my fitness goals, progress photos, meals, workouts, and other tips and tricks I find here. As a community you all can keep me accountable for reaching my fitness goals.

Fellow Heartbeats...

You all are welcome to join me on this fitness journey by sharing your story and goals here as well.  And hopefully we can all uplift and motivate one another. If you are willing join me email me (externalheartbeats@gmail.com) the details on your story and I'll be happy to post it.

Mother's Guilt

I originally planned to do a transformation Tuesday post to motivate some, inspire others, and to down right keep myself honest and accountable with the whole fitness thing. Unfortunately, that post will have to take a back seat to what I'm about to say today.

As I write this post it's almost hard to believe that ust yesterday I wrote about how awesome my birthday weekend was turning up in various ways with friends. Now today I'm off work again and heading to the doctor with my external heartbeat. She's not her normal jovial self but, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with my love just yet. However, after the day she had yesterday I've truly spent my night praying it's nothing serious.   

With that being said, this mom feels horrible, knowing that while her illness was developing I was out twerking at the national harbor (go ahead judge me I deserve it). I swear I have all sorts of Mother's Guilt (if that is even a thing) and have been sitting counting the things I would have don't differently had I known. Getting pissed that I didn't know sooner than her return home Sunday evening and wondering how I missed the signs. Telling myself I  not that mother who leaves their sick child to be someone else's problem while, reminding myself that I AM a damn good mom. My guilt is real and this shit feels awful. With that being said please pray for me and my baby girl because we are both feeling low today :(. 

Fellow heartbeats....

What's been your experience with Mother's Guilt and how did you bounce back from it? When the world beats you down you need to hear... You are a great mom. I heard those words from someone who barely knows me and it helped my heart.