Looking Forward To Mondays

Over the last two weeks I’ve seen some really great mom post so I wanted to share them here with you all...

Running On Empty

Ok now let’s dissect these two mom voices.

When you watched the video or read the article what’s your first reaction as a mom? 

When in mommy mode do you take time for yourself? Would you put your own oxygen mask on first?

I can tell you now my first thought is my child so in my mind I always figured that I’d disregard the flight attendants advice and put my baby mask on first. Right, wrong, or indifferent I’d rather sacrifice myself first, and when I said this to myself I thought...if you are not whole how will you  take care of her Sheena. This thought then lead into many other thoughts and internal back and forth with me lol.  However, seeing/reading these mom perspectives let me know its ok to take care of me sometimes and made me think about the ways I choose to take of me. 

The biggest thought that came to mind for me was I take care of me by looking forward to Monday’s lol.  You can judge if you want to. However, believe me when I say this, there is no greater love for me than the one I have for my daughter, she gives me so much joy, she is the light of my life, and I just love her life. She’s by far my greatest accomplishment but after a weekend of busy little Liv, Monday’s are just what the doctor ordered. I get to recuperate and recharge my batteries for another week of toddler goodness with my External Heartbeat. 

Post-Partum Shedding

Hey Luvs!

I know some of you are probably wondering why in the world I am talking about this now. Truth is I received a couple friendly reminders of it over the past few months so I figured now is better than never. Over the last year of Liv's life I've been rocking protective styles in my hair because I honestly can't deal with how much my hair sheds otherwise. My hair sheds by the hand full and typically pulls my natural locks from the roots on down... It's horrible.

Just horrible and  until a few recent conversations with a couple of my favorite veteran moms who are also team natural I had no solution, other than living in denial by rocking a protective style lol. Any who my mommy boo's came to the rescue with their advice to "start back taking your prenatal Vitamins". I had stop taken mine for a while because I was having a few health concerns (nothing serious...just would get super nauseous when I took them, so I needed to find out why this was happening after having my little lovebug. Although, I haven't quite got to the bottom of the nausea, this week I reintroduced prenatal vitamins to my diet so you can be sure to look for an update on my shedding issues in the next few months.

On another note before heading out for vacation I received a Instagram request wanting to catch the tea on my latest protective style so hunty here it is :-). For my birthday I decided I wanted a bob sew-in but since my hair is natural I needed the full Monte Carlo. With my shedding issues I can't afford to let any and everybody play in my natural hair. Any who I brought some weave, and drove up to Maryland and got my hair laid.

Side Note: Please don't ask why I had to go all the way to Maryland, that's a post for another day. However, I will say these Northern VA stylist be acting up and they clients be letting 'em...Thank God I'm natural.

Well my birthday sew-in made me fall in love so I decided to try wearing sew-ins for a few more months. I just wasn't about that sit in a care for 3 hours life for a hair style that only took an hour. Since, I don’t have a permanent stylist I reached out to my boo Denise who always come through with my natural updo's and is very creative. Told her what I was trying to do and she suggested I just buy a lace wig. The plan was to buy the wig and she'd sew it on for me. That way I could keep it for a good amount of time, plus she could help maintain my natural hair in between tighten up my wig... SCORE.

The concept was awesome, creative and works wonderfully.  However, the quality of wig I purchased was nowhere near what the sale associate promised so it didn’t last long. a

Fellow HeartBEATS

Have any of you experiences post-partum shedding? If so what tips can you share for coping with it?

Finding A New School

No wordless Wednesday for me today.  Instead I want to take a moment to properly address the thought provoking comment/question I received in response to yesterday’s post which you can read here.

The short of it is I was venting about my potty training frustrations as it pertains to Liv’s current school, and someone anonymously commented with the following...

“If you are so unhappy why don't you just leave now. No hate here, but it seems like you have been unhappy for awhile...”

This made me realize that I haven’t done what I set out to do with this blog. Which is to be 100% open and honest about matters of my external heartbeat. As anonymous stated I’ve been very open about my discontent with Liv’s existing school for some time. And, though I’ve insinuated that a change in schools is coming I haven’t quite shared the details. The crazy part about it is I feel like I did since all our family and friends have the inside scoop, and are looking forward to September 2^nd when she starts her new school.

Now! Before I proceed I’d like to apologize for taking you all for granted. By not sharing the details of the new school search. Anonymous made me realize that as much as I complain about Liv’s existing school, sharing the details of her new school is a post that’s long overdue.  So anonymous whoever you are thanks so much for the comment.

Now, without further ado here’s the long answer to the comment above.

It was sometime around April when I truly came to my breaking point with Liv’s current school. I can’t remember the exact straw that broke the camel’s back (it honestly may have been the whole potty or fundraiser thing) but, I knew it was time to leave. And if both my husband and I didn’t work full time or had family in our area willing to care for her, I would have snatched her out immediately. No ifs, ands, or butts about it, as mad as I was I would have made what I’d now consider to be a selfish decision and left the school without notice. Yes! I said selfish because in my opinion acting solely on my discontent (which in the moment I would have been), and not thinking about the best quality of care for her would have been selfish. In any case, I didn’t take her out immediately because our family dynamics didn’t support such a decision.

Instead after a year of her being in her current school, and receiving what I’d consider to be excellent care as an infant. I found myself back at the drawing board and in search of a new school once she became a toddler. Honestly, although I was starting to have my share of issues with the administration, my husband and I were also noticing how she had simply out grown their level of care. What worked for her as an infant just wasn’t going to work for her as a toddler. So, in early April I begin diligently looking for new schools in my area. By now you all know enough of my personality to know I don’t make decisions like this lightly, and I’m not about uprooting my child to leave her in the care of just anyone. I attended multiple open houses, randomly popped up at several schools, spent countless hours reading reviews, talking to administrators, and other parents of my top choice schools. Before we decided that this time around we’d give Montessori a try. Outside of the very docile environment that I’m hoping my little rambunctious diva will fit into we just loved the school philosophy. I loved the responsiveness and communication with the director and teachers. I also lved how even their so called “play” activities have a purpose behind them.

However, our decision to try Montessori came with a pretty steep contractual obligation. That further delayed us moving her out of the current school. The Montessori school we choose only accepts 10 or 12 month contracts which can only start in June or September and on top of that they are only accredited to take students as young as 18 months old. This is why our start date is September and wasn’t sooner. Through my search I found that even if I moved her somewhere else temporarily the quality of care would be equal or less than the care she is receiving today. So the hubs and I decided we’ll let her finish out the summer around her tiny friends and continue to deal with the environment that we know until her first day at the new school. Exactly, two weeks ago I gave her current school a little over 30 days’ notice that she will not be returning in the fall. And, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the last few months of dealing with their shenanigans have been a serious struggle but, I’ve learned to keep calm and look forward to brighter days.

I’m pretty sure the new school won’t solve all my problems but, this mom is totally looking forward to a new set of experiences J

Somebody Can't Count

As I sit here completing the paperwork for Baby O to transfers schools in September I thought it would only be fitting to share another THAT MOM post. Reagrding her current school so, here’s a another one for ya...

Back in March Baby O’s school announced that they were doing an optional fundraiser which I totally decided I’d ignore. Because, in my mind there was no way they expected my tiny tot to go out and raise money for the school. I honestly assumed that although the email went out to everyone it was only applicable to the older kids at the school.  Whelp, I wrong, I arrived at the school and found a crisp white folder, with Baby O’s full name on it, and all the fundraiser information inside.

Being the parent I am I politely went to the front desk to determine exactly what they were raising funds for since that little detail was missing. The director informed me the funds raised would go towards having technology in the classrooms.  I thought it over for a few days and decided it was a good enough cause to support even though I didn’t agree with how the school was enticing parents to compete (I say parents because we all know the kids weren’t actually doing the solicitations).

However, I’m very competitive and when I decided to support I knew I had to give it 100% so, I begin my solicitation efforts. Thankfully the items were very easy to sale so Baby O sold a ton of stuff; I turned the packet in, and just knew my baby was the schools winner. 

Wrong Again! After all the submissions were handed in the school sent the following email (Names have been changed to protect the innocent)...

The results are in for our Claire's fundraiser from last month. We are thrilled to report that our participating families sold $5,379.40 worth of items, which resulted in ...... $2,156.75 in funds raised to improve technology for our classrooms! We also have some private donations that have not yet been accounted for in that total.

As promised, our 2 top-selling families will receive a $100 credit on their tuition. Congratulations to the Wrong and Doe families on raising a combined total of $1438.75 between them! Also, every family who participated received 1 entry for every 10 items ordered into a lottery drawing for $100 cash. Congratulations to the Right and Doe families- you can pick up your winnings today!

Again, thank you SO MUCH to everyone who participated. We are blessed to have such wonderful families invested in their children's education!

Upon receiving this email my first thought was...Hmmm that’s very interesting but, I totally wish they would have broken the totals out so I’d know exactly how much we lost by. But, that’s awesome the school raised so much.

Then pick up day came and things got interesting.

When I arrived at the school to pick up the items everything was sorted nice and neat. My lovely order form was printed for me so I could confirm my order. So I did and it was accurate however, the total amount raised was off. They had totally miscalculated Baby O’s web orders.

I Informed the front desk because, at this point I wasn’t sure if they school had even got the credit for those orders. I was instructed that the person I needed to speak with was gone for the day so I’d have to send a follow up email. The next morning I sent the following;

Good Morning Ashley,

As promised I logged into my Claire's account to get the names of everyone who purchased in support of Olivia and the school.  I've provided the details below for your review.  Once again I would like to make note that everyone did receive their order either direct shipment to their homes or via my school pick up yesterday. However, I'm not sure the school received credit for all of Olivia's orders because based on the totals I received in my packet yesterday Olivia didn't receive credit for all of them. Please let me know if there is anything I else I can provide to assist in your research in this matter.

Basically... Based on my calculations your fundraising total is incorrect and we actually raised the most funds lol.

To which I received a follow-up phone call saying... Hi Sheena! We totally received credit for your web orders and it looks like we owe you $100 credit on your tuition so, we will be putting that on your account today.

Ummmm thanks I guess. I’m grateful for the credit that I worked hard for but, totally don’t appreciate the way they handled the situation. Like...

• Sure we can go ahead and disregard the fact that you can’t count. So you got the credit but didn’t think enough to give it to the correct family...shady boots
• No you don’t owe us an apology or at least a thank you.                              
• No the school community doesn’t need to know that my infant raised the MOST money for the school.
• After all, our family and friends only helped raised a little under $1,000.00 for your school. The least you can do is pretend you care.

Oh The Judgment!

This morning I woke up to an article posted on FB by my co peep Jessica that totally reminded me of a conversation that a few other co peeps and I had last week. Where I informed my co peeps that I had to refrain from cussing a women out in a restaurant for a comment she made regarding my parenting style.

Long story short...

The hubs, Baby O, and I were at brunch one Saturday and because Baby O is so active and hates just sitting waiting on the food, we brought a few things to entertain her (One of which was an ipad for her to click through abcmouse.com or watch videos on youtube). We were at the table chatting, playing with the ipad, and signing songs when a large party was seated across from us. The group seemed to be enjoying themselves and begin to get really loud. So Baby O turned to join in on their fun, she begin to try engage in their conversation and they all chatting back. Except one woman (she had two older kids) who kept staring at Dom and I. I’d notice her watching our table beforehand but didn’t pay much attention. However, she abruptly received my attention when we made eye contact and she made the comment “Sorry she’s not entertained by the TV any longer, looks like she wants some real conversation sorry.”

Hold the MFing phone!

Is this chick judging me?

Bye, Felicia!

ITCH I did this as a curtsey to you, and the other restaurant patrons. I’m 100% cool with letting her loose to tear this place up but, I figured you’re a** wouldn’t like that. So I brought her some entertainment.

NOW! Go have several seats in the back of a stadium by your darn self until you remember how your kids used to act at 14 months.

Oh sorry guys.

YIKES!!! Anyway before I have a darn flash back here’s the article she posted... IT AIN’T EASY HAVING ONE OF “THOSE” KIDS. 

The title caught my attention and after reading it I immediately knew I had to share it with you all.  You see before having a kid of my own I can admit that I was a silent judger. Not that I wanted or meant to judge others it would kind of just happen. Mostly because I didn’t understand, all I would see is the child’s behavior and the parent seeming to not be bothered by it. Now that I have a child of my own I know differently. And as I told my co peeps who I discussed this with last week... I apologize to every parent before me who I secret or openly judge in my ignorance.

To future parents, parents of older children, people who don’t want to be parents, or parents who kids aren’t quite toddlers yet please believe me when I say the trials and tribulations of apparent are REAL. And every kids is different so no one will ever be able to explain it, it’s honestly one of those things you just have to experience. With that being said, next time you think to judge.

Potty Training: Regression

Hey luvs!

This week I’m playing catch up. I feel like I’ve been saying I’ll update you all soon and just never do so this is the week to catch up and I’m starting with Potty Training. Since, my original potty training post I’ve gotten a ton of inquiries about how things are going so as promised here’s the skinny on Baby O’s potty time progress.

Things were going excellent, we were spending our evenings and weekends having potty time. To be clear she wasn’t drag me too the potty or anything thing but, we had a little routine going where I’d sit her on the potty soon as we got home, after dinner, and again before bed (one the weekends we did every two hours) and she was accident free. We were getting somewhere and I even discovered that she was grasping the concept...

To be clear, by no means do her understanding equal actually using the potty on her own.  NOT AT ALL. It actually turned out that while she did indeed where she should go potty it didn’t prevent her from experiencing regression... She had begun to go potty in her diaper and then walk over to the potty and take a seat or, use go in her  diaper immediately after getting up from the potty. And for the life of me I couldn’t figure out where in the world this little set back was coming from.  Originally I thought maybe I was too ambitious with my potty introduction and she wasn’t ready. Until I did my research and discovered my poor baby was probably just confused.

Since, I hadn’t engaged the school in our potty time adventures we were totally sending my lovebug mixed signals.  I was at home telling her it isn’t ok to go potty in her diaper while, they were telling her the complete opposite for 8 hours of the day...YIKES. I had to get school involved because the only way this would work was if everyone was on the same page. Being that she was in a toddler room which had a restroom in it I didn’t foresee a problem.  I set up meeting with her teacher and director to discuss Baby O getting potty time throughout the day which seemed to go well.  We set a date to start and I spent the entire weekend before hand trying to get Baby O back on track.  I was serious like looked up YouTube videos, read books, brought supplies, and picked my baby up early so we could get started SERIOUS.

The Musical timer we set for every 30 minutes

Since Baby O is into baby dolls I got her a Baby Alive to demonstrate how potty time works

The rewards board

The Packet I put together for the teacher to reward her during potty time

Cute little seat

Big Girl Panties

Only to find out that the school wasn’t hence my comment “So you won’t potty train her until she’s 2?” in the THAT MOM post. Y’all they played me, turns out they were against my plan to potty train early and had given Baby O’s teacher very specific instructions that made the effort a true waste of time and when I finally discovered what was going on I was pissed. Yet, I decided to have a follow on conversation with the director which enlightened me on the schools true opinion...

The school doesn’t begin potty training until children enter the 2 year old classroom. They didn’t want to force a 13 month old to sit on the potty so, they were only willing to get her used to the idea by sitting her on the potty every two hours if the teacher wasn’t the only adult in the classroom at the time.

In my follow up conversations with the teacher Baby O was enjoying her potty breaks but most times had already gone potty in the diaper prior to getting sat on the potty. This meant we were right back where we started and the only responsible thing for me to do was call operation potty time quits. I can’t risk any further confusion on this situation for Baby O it’s just not fair to her. And, although I know she’s ready even more so now then she was three months ago I have to hold off until she’s in environment that fosters growth and development on an individual level instead of a place that focuses on a GROUP THINK philosophy.

Momma Drama: Mystery Scratches

Hey luvs!

I want to take a moment circle back on Monday’s article about being THAT Mom. Although I’m shamelessly proud of the title I still would like to go into further detail regarding the bullets I posted. Not for validation, simply because the stories behind them are important. Starting today I will be doing a series called (Momma Drama) which goes into further details regarding each of these incidents and future ones like it.This honestly should be good because as my co-peeps put it I have the most bizarre conversations lol.

Oh so no one knows where this scratch on my infant came from?

This was the start of my THAT Mom life with Baby O’s school so it’s the most fitting place to start.  One day I went to pick my lovebug up (she had to be about 7 months) and as I was gathering her things I glanced over and noticed a scratch on her neck. This was no little scratch. It actually looked more like someone had been digging into her skin, and I could tell it hurt and from the dried blood. Of course, I immediately stopped what I was doing to get closer look at it. After my inspection I ask the teacher what happened to which she informed me that this was her first time seeing it.

SAY WHAT? 

                                              

Apparently, Baby O had been shuttled from class to class that day so her primary teacher was just seeing her. I was too alarmed by the change in classrooms as it this happened a lot on the school infant unit. I was surprised that I visited every infant class and NO ONE knew where the mark on my baby had come from.

WHAT THE F*&%?

Internally PISSED yet visibly calm, I proceed to pack up the rest of Baby O’s belongings, picked her up, and marched down to the director’s office. When I got to her office I politely requested a moment of her and time during which I pointed out the marks on Baby O, and let her know that while I understand that accidents will happen while my child is in their care I was very disturbed. As I had spoken to her staff and none of the infant teachers knew where the marks came from. She informed me that they the team keeps a very close eye on the children, and couldn’t believe that no one on her staff had seen this if it happened on their watch.

To which I responded with the following...

It has become a daily tradition in our household that my husband and Baby O take a morning photo so something like this would have been noticed prior to her arrival had it happen at home. Not to mention I watch her like a HAWK at home, since she is my only I actually don’t have anything else better to do. Not to mention I bath her nightly and I can promise this was not there. This means it happened in your care, so now that we know where this happened let me tell you my issue once again. My issue is that NO ONE on your staff seen this and I had to walk in a place of “care” to discover a mark on my child. My issue is that I was not identified of this issue prior to arriving at your facility. That shows negligence on the schools behalf in my opinion. I don’t ever want to walk in this facility in find a mark on my child that you all aren’t aware of...Like NEVER. I pay you all to educate and protect my child while she is here and that is not something you feel your staff is capable of please let me know immediately.

I could tell that my polite yet firm ton surprised the ish out of her because every day prior my demeanor mirrored that of a ball of sunshine lol.  I left our little meeting with feeling accomplished as I believed my point had gotten across and knowing I’d be receiving a follow up call the next day with further clarification of what may have happened. Since, a few teachers had already left for the day I knew she needed to contact them and I thought it was only fair to allow her to do so. Especially, since the bullshit story she initially tried to feed me of this being self-inflicted wasn’t flying past me lol.

In any case I received a call bright and early the next morning to which the truth was revealed, because Baby O led them to it.  Apparently, little miss independent had been snatching her own bibs off her neck and no one cared until...Momma found them scratches.

Fellow HeartBEATS

Do you remember the first time you had to SPEAK UP in the name of your child? If so please share :)