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Showing posts with label mothers guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mothers guilt. Show all posts

Thursday, April 10, 2014

No Pictures Please

So yesterday was Baby O's picture day at school and for the first time since she's been there I declined on the option to have her photos taken :(. Which sucks because I look forward to these moments with my lovebug, not to mention I spent a whole week going back and forth with Dom on which of her cute little spring ensembles she'd wear, and laid it out on Sunday. 

Only for us to end our Sunday evening nursing her and the nice little shiner she gave herself. Yup! Baby O is walking around with a black eye after our family fun day in the back yard...It was such a beautiful day that we decided to go out back and get some fresh air. All was going well and she was having a blast, until she tripped while chasing our dog CoCo. Of course, I understand that being a tiny tot she have a lot of bumps and bruises while exploring along the way but I totally felt horrible and my Mother's Guilt came back in full force (hangs head in shame).

Any who, yesterday when I headed up to her school midday to take her to the doctors all of her little classmates looked so cute in their picture day attire. I was sad but enjoying my view until everyone I passed (all the teachers, directors, etc) mentioned how there was a ton of controversy that morning on whether or not Olivia was supposed to take her photos (I thought I had notified everyone she wasn’t but I guess not). When I told them no they laid it on SUPER thick and convinced me otherwise, vowing to hide her litter shiner, and allow her to have her photos taken today. Because, all the staff in the building looks forward to seeing Olivia on picture day lol.

I agreed to their terms because I just love when my kid is the highlight of others day like she is for mineJ. Especially since when I stopped by the infant room to see a friend’s daughter her little cute face and outfit just gave me LIFE.  Can’t wait to see how all the kids photos turn out. For now here’s a hair and outfit sneak peek...



Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Mother's Guilt

I originally planned to do a transformation Tuesday post to motivate some, inspire others, and to down right keep myself honest and accountable with the whole fitness thing. Unfortunately, that post will have to take a back seat to what I'm about to say today.

As I write this post it's almost hard to believe that ust yesterday I wrote about how awesome my birthday weekend was turning up in various ways with friends. Now today I'm off work again and heading to the doctor with my external heartbeat. She's not her normal jovial self but, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with my love just yet. However, after the day she had yesterday I've truly spent my night praying it's nothing serious.   



With that being said, this mom feels horrible, knowing that while her illness was developing I was out twerking at the national harbor (go ahead judge me I deserve it). I swear I have all sorts of Mother's Guilt (if that is even a thing) and have been sitting counting the things I would have don't differently had I known. Getting pissed that I didn't know sooner than her return home Sunday evening and wondering how I missed the signs. Telling myself I  not that mother who leaves their sick child to be someone else's problem while, reminding myself that I AM a damn good mom. My guilt is real and this shit feels awful. With that being said please pray for me and my baby girl because we are both feeling low today :(. 

Fellow heartbeats....
What's been your experience with Mother's Guilt and how did you bounce back from it? When the world beats you down you need to hear... You are a great mom. I heard those words from someone who barely knows me and it helped my heart.