Breastfeeding Done Right (Michelle's Journey) Part II

With my second kid, things have been completely different.  My breastfeeding goal is one year this time around.  I feel a lot more confident too.  Since I had my oldest, I have a lot more support since we have so many more friends that have kids now.  (We were some of the first with kids in our group of friends).  I have been much calmer this time around too.  I knew that if it didn’t click right away that it would eventually.  

I had a similar hospital experience with my second.  He came out and breastfed right away.  It went ok in the hospital.  From the get-go this baby ate a lot faster than my oldest.  He would eat a lot for like 10 minutes as opposed to his brother’s 40 minutes.  It was awesome! 

When we got home from the hospital things were totally different.  I couldn’t disappear every time the baby needed to eat since I had a toddler running around that I also needed to watch.  I just fed the baby on the couch in the family room.  Depending on who was at the house at the time, I either used a cover or I didn’t.  I got the baby used to the cover immediately.  It was much easier the second time around as I was a lot more comfortable with breastfeeding as a whole. 

After a few weeks I started to get the feeling that there was something a little different with how my son was eating compared to my oldest.  He was gaining weight, but he was making this weird clicking noise when he ate.  I also noticed that he didn’t stick his tongue out very far.  It’s not something that a “first-time mom” would have picked up on as even being an issue.  I started googling things and eventually I self-diagnosed that he had a slight tongue-tie.  A tongue-tie means that the lingual frenum is short (I suggest googling a picture as there are various degrees of this) and it was making it hard for him to keep his latch when eating.  I figured it was a minor case, but I was concerned that it was making him take in a lot of air when he ate.  I wasn’t sure what to do so after some advice from some family members I called a lactation consultant.  My sister tried to get me to call one with my oldest before I gave up breastfeeding, but I refused.   I’m not one to ask for help, but I really didn’t want to stop breastfeeding at only 5 weeks postpartum, so I called my insurance company to see if it was covered.  My insurance told me 5 visits were covered at 100%, but I could pay $100 out of pocket to have the consultant come to my house.  I decided to call and they were able to come to my house two days later.  This was by far the BEST $100 I have ever spent.  I now regret not calling with my oldest.  The woman who came to the door turned out to be the same woman who taught my breastfeeding class a few years earlier.  It made me a little more comfortable knowing that it wasn’t a complete stranger that I was about to whip my boob out in front of.  She stayed for 2 hours and we went around the house and I fed the baby in front of her in all the rooms/chairs I typically fed him in.  She did this to see if she could assist with things I was complaining about, my back hurting, my milk coming out too fast and the baby being unable to handle it, etc.  She gave me great tips that no book or website had told me about.  She explained how things like the breastfeeding pillows I had been using were a big cause of my back aches, something I never would have thought since I had the best items on the market and everyone I know used them.  The whole experience was seriously life-changing in regards to my breastfeeding journey.  She weighed him before and after he ate to make sure he was getting milk.  At the end of the appointment she did confirm a slight tongue-tie, but didn’t think it was a big deal as he was getting a lot of milk, but to check with the pediatrician at his next appointment.   (Dr. also confirmed slight tongue-tie, but didn’t think a small surgical procedure was necessary and sure enough within a few weeks the baby stopped making the noise).

My baby is now 8 ½ months old and up until this week was still not sleeping through the night.  This is where I drastically changed the way I did things from my oldest.  With my oldest I sort of sleep trained him and had him sleeping 12 hours a night by 4 months.  With my youngest I didn’t sleep train him, because I could tell he was still hungry during the night.  Through seven months he would wake up numerous times a night to eat.  I would continue to feed him and not let him cry-it-out until he had 2-3 nights in a row when he would wake at a specific time and only snack for a minute and then pass out again.  Once he did that I would drop whatever feeding that was.  It’s been tough and I’ve been exhausted for almost 9 months, but it’s been worth it. 

All-in-all Breastfeeding is going well.  I’m pumping a few times a day at work and sometimes I add an extra session at home if I need to trigger my body to make more.  I’ve been much more relaxed this time around.  I don’t feel as anxious and stressed.  I don’t rush the baby to hurry up and eat so I can go do something around the house.  I try to sit calmly and figure that whatever needs to be done can wait until he’s done eating.  My house isn’t always clean and sometimes dinner is bought instead of cooked, but I’m okay with that.  I’ve had to miss some weekends away for things like bachelorette parties and my husband and I have put off a vacation without the kids, because I’ve decided that I’m breastfeeding for a year and I don’t have enough milk in storage to leave the baby overnight.  I’ve noticed many people don’t understand this.   It’s typically female friends and relatives that don’t have kids that say anything at all to me about still breastfeeding at almost 9 months postpartum.  Their logic is that formula is always there and so much easier, but I don’t want to supplement since breastfeeding is going so well. 

This brings me to my little rant about support for breastfeeding…It’s weird how in the news it is almost always another woman who makes a breastfeeding mother move when in a store or somewhere else in public feeding her baby.  It’s really sad.  Woman should be supportive, but many aren’t.  I actually don’t get it.  I mean I can see how someone nursing without a cover could be a little uncomfortable, but think how the mom feels.  Nobody wants to whip out their boobs in public, but some kids refuse to eat under a cover.  The world Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for 2 years.    What are you supposed to do, never leave your house the whole time you are breastfeeding?  Luckily, I’ve never been made to feel bad when feeding my child in public, which by the way with my second child I’ve done a lot (with a cover due to my own modesty).  I’ve done it at friends’ houses, birthday parties, baseball games, the pool and many other places. My mentality nowadays is if anyone has a problem with my breastfeeding my child in public, well that’s just it, their problem. 

Breastfeeding Done Right (Michelle's Journey)

Hey luvs!

I know National Breastfeeding Awareness Month is over but it ended before I wanted it too lol. No in all seriousness I’ve received several emails and texts, about the struggle to breastfeed from other first time moms in my circle.  That I felt inclined to reach out to some of my co-peeps that have success to see if they could share their journey with us. My boo Michelle’s responded with her triumphant journey which I’ll be sharing over the next two days :-).

Michelle’s Journey...

Sheena asked me to write something since I breastfed my oldest and am currently breastfeeding my youngest.  We have two boys; a VERY energetic 3 year old and an adorable 8 ½ month old. 

My breastfeeding Journey began a little over three years ago.  We took a parenting class before we had our oldest and I got a free two hour breastfeeding class with that.  I debated not going to the class and almost canceled.  My husband was busy that day with school (he was working on finishing his Master’s before the baby came) so I made my mom come with me.  The class was interesting and pretty uncomfortable.  I mean you’re sitting there watching a video and looking at pictures of boobs with a bunch of strangers.  I did learn a lot though.  It was pretty amazing to learn that babies instinctively move towards your boobs.  Like, if you put a newborn on your chest they naturally make their way down to your boobs from day one.  It’s pretty amazing.  My mom got all into it and kept raising her hand and asking questions.  It was embarrassing, but in the long run it was really helpful, because my mom was really supportive of my choice to breastfeed.  Support is key to being successful at this.  Breastfeeding is really hard and won’t work if you don’t have support from your family, especially your husband. 

Fast forward a month and after 16 hours of not-so-fun labor I had my son.  After you have a baby they want you to breastfeed right away if you are planning on doing it.  It’s weird and uncomfortable when you first try breastfeeding.   The nurse was great and guided me through it.  The hospital we chose had a daily group breastfeeding class.  I was in too much pain to attend the class (since I ended up with a spinal headache from the epidural) and I had the hospital lactation consultant come to my room for a one-on-one lesson.  I don’t know if they always do this, but I pretty much demanded that she come to me.   I refused to leave the hospital until I felt comfortable breastfeeding.  I heard from so many of my friends “I never got the hang of breastfeeding in the hospital, so I just quit.”  I didn’t want that to be my story.  I learned enough from the breastfeeding class that I knew it took more than two days to “get” the whole breastfeeding thing. 

When we finally left the hospital, the whole world wanted to come and meet the baby.  I was very uncomfortable breastfeeding in front of people so I would always go up to my room and feed him.  In the beginning you are supposed to feed your baby every two hours.  It’s not every two hours from when the baby finishes eating; it’s two hours from when the baby starts eating.  My oldest was a SLOW eater.  He would take 40 minutes to eat.  So basically, I was feeding him for almost an hour and then an hour after that I had to do it again.  I was spending a lot of time by myself in my room, because I didn’t want to have my boobs out in front of anyone.  I wasn’t really comfortable with a cover either.  It’s really hard to get the hang of it in the beginning and if you’ve never breastfed before, the cover almost gets in the way at first.  It was frustrating, as well as, physically and emotionally draining.  Friends and family would come over and I’d see them for like 20 minutes and then have to go feed the baby. 

Eventually the baby ate less frequently and I was able to go out.  I tried to plan it so that I wouldn’t have to feed the baby while I was out, but babies wanna eat when they want to eat.  I knew before I had kids that I probably wasn’t going to be someone that could just feed the baby whenever and wherever.  I’ve always had a large chest, but add breastfeeding into the equation, and well, nobody wants to see that.  If I was out and the baby got fussy I would either go to my car, turn on the A/C, put on a cover and feed him in the parking lot or I would go into a dressing room and take a few minutes to feed him.   I am not someone that can just sit out in the open and feed the baby with my boobs hanging out.  I can see how someone with a much smaller chest can do it discreetly, but there were times when my boobs were literally bigger than my baby’s  head and you could see way more than I was comfortable showing.  I know there has been a lot in the news about public places not letting women breastfeed, but I’ve never had an issue with it.  I’ve never been told to leave a fitting room; then again I never told the store that was what I was doing in the dressing room either. 

Anyways, long story short, I went back to work, pumped/breastfed in total for about 4 ½ months.  My original goal for breastfeeding was 6 months, but it just wasn’t in the cards.  Once I went back to work I wasn’t pumping as much milk as he needed each day.  I didn’t really understand the whole process with pumping.  I didn’t realize that I could do things like add a pumping session in for a few days in a row to trigger my body to make more milk.  The idea of supplementing with formula didn’t really even occur to me.  For some reason I had it in my head that it was an all or nothing kind of thing.  So before he hit 5 months, I stopped breastfeeding completely.  In a way I was happy to have my life back.  I was able to go out for a few hours without my boobs hurting and I could get some alone time.  My son was also able to learn the new skill of self-soothing.  He wasn’t just given a boob whenever he cried.  I did miss the bond, but to be honest I just never really got comfortable with breastfeeding back then.  My back constantly hurt and I became resentful at times of my husband.  He could make plans like going golfing and do other fun things whenever he felt like it and I couldn’t do anything without planning around the babies eating schedule.  I just don’t think I was mentally prepared for how much time and effort it took to breastfeed.

My Breatfeeding Journey

Good Morning Luvs!

Yesterday I posted a picture that had the internet on buzz a few months back and requested your honest feedback on the story (thank you to those that commented). My reason behind posting the yesterday was I wanted to share my honest opinion today.

And my first reaction to this photo was... GOOD for her.

Here’s why, I never thought I’d cry over spilled milk until I tried to become a breastfeeding mom. 

Yup! That happened to me and for real for real I cried lol.

Breastfeeding was hard as hell and the struggle to produce enough milk was REAL for me. I totally felt inadequate trying to breastfeed my child. Partly because I hadn’t considered the fact that I wouldn’t be able to do it prior to having Liv, and partly because society screams that breast milk is the best milk for your baby. And with it being free why would I consider anything else for my child, whom I want the best for?   So, I gave it 200% but those 3 months of living my life on an every 2 hours schedule, to barely get half the milk my baby needed each day, and sore nipples were no joke.

Those 3 months also gave me a great deal of appreciating and respect for moms who not only have success with breastfeeding, but choose to do so for long periods of time. Don’t get me wrong I still can’t find the appreciation for moms who have GROWN kids on their boob lol. However, I get it and think that if a child is hungry the mom should have the right to feed them immediately. Of course when in public cover ups, pumping, and going in a private corner would all be appreciated, but as a parent I now know and will never forget that in times like this you HAVE to do what’s best for your child. If a kid isn’t used to the methods above they won’t be comfortable and eat like they should, thus resulting is a miserable time for everyone around. After all there’s nothing worse than a hungry baby cry lol.

Wordless Wednesdays:What were your thoughts on this story? (comment below please)

National Breastfeeding Awareness Month

Hey Luvs!

I’m back from vacation and as much as I’d love to talk about my time in Mexico I’m not. Today I’m here to discuss a topic near and dear to the hearts moms across the country... Breastfeeding. This month is National Breastfeeding Awareness Month so I want to use this last week to talk about it.  To start I want to share a pro breastfeeding article that I found in my email this morning because, I wished some had shared this with me when I was nursing.

So here it is... "Why Breastfeeding Doesn’t Have to Be All or Nothing"

If I could describe my feelings about the upcoming birth of my fourth baby in, oh, four days (I’m being induced due to some medical complications) in one word, it would be this:

Fear. 

It may sound crazy because I’ve had three other children already, and one would think I would be totally prepared for another little baby, but in a way, having done this three other times, I’m even more scared of what it is to come. The sleepless nights! The weight that won’t come off magically when I give birth! The challenges with older children’s attention!

But the thing that is causing me the most anxiety?

Breastfeeding. 

I am dreading the thought of breastfeeding again. (Sorry, future baby, if you’re reading this, but hopefully you’ll understand some day.) I tried to explain my fears to my husband and it came out in a jumbled mess of mommy guilt and tears and me muttering something like, “You can’t understand what’s it like!”

Like it or not, he can’t understand my breastfeeding fears and, in part, that’s the biggest issue for me:

Honestly, it’s hard  to describe with others what’s it like to breastfeed and the fears associated with it but, this mom makes it a little better with here suggestions.  To read the full article and get some additional tips for success with nursing visit click here.